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Sex Offender Database Calvin And Hobbes Calvin and Hobbes is a cartoon strip (now retired, and one of my all-time favorites) that was conceived, drawn, guarded, and protected by a man named Bill Watterson. If, by some bizarre twist of fate, you're not familiar with Mr. Watterson or Calvin and Hobbes, here's a good place to start--It's a magical world, and we really need to explore it, dontcha think? Graphics The graphics that populate this site, to the best of my knowledge, are all in the public domain and can be freely glommed onto and used by anyone who wishes to use them. The badges are scans of badges that I carried during my law enforcement career. Real maple syrup comes from real maple trees. You may have heard of "Vermont Maple Syrup", or "Canadian Maple Syrup". Well, you can keep 'em. If I can't have real Ohio Maple Syrup made by Stan Hess on his farm in Ashland, Ohio, I'm not eating the waffle. Visit his site and order a bottle or two. You won't regret it.
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 Welcome to Lawenforcer.net. This site was, for a very long time, devoted to distribution (and re-distribution) of Windows Theme files of a military and law enforcement persuasion. Interest for that particular sort of thing has waned, and the theme files themselves are elusive. There are still links to theme sites, but my interests have changed, and I now seldom create original themes for Windows operating systems. There's lots of good stuff to pretty up your desktop now, what with everything on earth being "skinned". Where this site is headed is anybody's guess, but it will remain active. It's most likely headed to more of a personal opinion site for me.Some other things are changed too. I used to affiliated with some Web Rings, but they're pretty lame now that Yahoo has taken them over. Nothing against Yahoo here, but it's just not the same. I had a "guest book" for a long time, but it got signed about once every 6 months, and if you really want to communicate with me, just e-mail me. I had a counter placed on this page too--it's now gone. No point in it that I could see. No, I'm not on Facebook or MySpace or Twitter. Sorry. When the hot thing is "ButtBook" I'll get an account. I have a couple of IM accounts, but that's just so last week. I remain affiliated with Ultimate Paint. You can download their Freeware version here, and their Shareware version as well. This is one dandy image manipulation program. A fine version of Double Solitaire can be downloaded right here as well. It was written by Christopher D. Lawson and has been a source of pleasure for me for years. Sports Bud Selig needs to get a real haircut and a new tailor. This fart-knocker isn't worth the time of day. Opening day at Chavez Ravine 2009--Dodgers and Giants. And, just prior to the game, we're treated to yet another "interpretation" of the National Anthem. Is there now some law prohibiting simply playing or singing a respectful version? That plus the porn rap star "Fergie" screeching the Anthem at the White House. But I digress. Bud Selig has now ordered all major league players to wear #42 in honor of Jackie Robinson on April 15th. Enough is enough Selig. Just go ahead an do away with numbers altogether. Apparently they're no longer needed. One More Thing........Just because they call it the "World Series of Something" doesn't make it a sport--case in point is the World Series of Poker. Maybe I haven't been clear--POKER IS NOT A SPORT. Don't make me come up there........ Drivel My best law enforcement stories come from my days driving a patrol car. Granted, the stories are always better than the real thing was, but I figure I'm entitled to embellish a little bit. For all of you out there who just can't wait to shed the uniform and become a detective (or, God forbid, go for promotion), remember that the real fun of this work is chasing bad guys with your hair on fire. Living life powered by adrenaline and caffeine isn't too bad at all. Notes From The Edge I laughed 'til I cried at rinkworks. Learn about the Internet at the Internet Beginner's Guide. Enjoy the ride. Travel in your immediate future? Worried about how dangerous your destination might be? Check out Fiedling's DangerFinder before you go. Better safe than sorry..... One of the funniest site I've been to recently (informative, too) is called Jump the Shark. It chronicles the actual moments when TV shows began their downhill slides. It's at http://www.jumptheshark.com. The term "Jump The Shark" is coined from the 1977 "Happy Days" episode when Fonzie water-ski jumped over a shark tank. And let us not forget to return, on occasion, to some VERY funny stuff at http://www.lileks.com. What the heck was that great song on that commercial, and where the heck can I find out who the artist is? Try this: http://www.songtitle.info/ Need a driver for that nasty little piece of hardware you just scored? Try http://www.driverguide.com. I've always liked Joe Bob Briggs. Turn in a crook and make a buck while you're at it at http://federalfraud.com/.
Boomer Links http://www.octanecreative.com/boomerbaby/ http://www.popculturemadness.com/ Being a boomer is such fun. Take a trip in the way-back machine at In The 70's. Every time I have a date, there's only one place to go....that's to the Drive-In!!
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I've never had a problem using Trend Micro's antivirus protection. I bought it, I use it, I recommend it. Trend also has a service that will allow you to scan your computer for viruses free of charge. It's available at http://housecall.trendmicro.com/. Screen Savers My understanding is that current monitor technology has eliminated the need for screensavers. Oh, hogwash--they're WAY too much fun to completely eliminate. Windows ships with some cool ones, but the best are the oldies. Johnny Castaway. After Dark. The goodies above have some issues running under modern versions of Windows, like W2K, ME, and XP. What will and won't work varies based on your OS and which saver you're trying to get to work. I just wish that my two old favorites (After Dark and Johnny Castaway) were updated. I'd buy new copies. I have a wireless network at home and keep a Windows 98 machine in the mix so I can use After Dark on it. It just doesn't seem to work on later versions of Windows. The network includes computers running XP, W2K, Win98, Mac OSX, and a nice little sampling of Linux distributions. I continue to use Microsoft products because they work. I like Linux, too. My wife likes Mac. The United States Military God bless 'um. Politics (this part might get a little brutal for the next 4 years or so) Yikes!! We're in for some dark days here, folks. As for me, I'm just going to hunker down and cling to God and my guns. I've never been much of a "question authority" sort, but that's probably changing now....As James Lileks said, dissent is still the highest form of patriotism, but now it will be practiced by the lowest form of people. 6-18-2009 I saw on FoxNews today a short clip of a military officer addressing Senator Barbara Boxer (of California) as "Ma'am". Boxer took umbrage and upbraided him, telling him to address her as "Senator". He, of course, complied. The bastard. "Ma'am". What an insult. Or, maybe Boxer is just a worthless pile-o-crap. And people ask me why I fled California. At the end of the movie "Animal House" we see John Belushi in a pirate costume, driving away in a stolen convertible with a kidnapped cheerleader and, as the scene freezes, the caption "Senator and Mrs. Bluto Blutarsky, Washington D.C." appears, and we all laughed and laughed.............And then there was Senator Al Franken of Minnesota. Why am I not laughing? Television The SciFi channel is in the process of breaking my heart. You just sort of have to wonder what's on their minds. Or not--they are a part of NBC, after all. I don't know who or what their target audience is, but it used to be me and now it's not. Science fiction is old movies and TV series like Kolchak, Brimstone, Millennium, the X-Files, Night Gallery--maybe even Due South (the lead character did have conversations with his dead father, if memory serves). There's plenty to choose from. So, on Thanksgiving weekend, 2008, what did they show? A Mork and Mindy moron-o-thon, Mork and Mindy. Oh My God. I guess someone else owns the rights to Tales of the Gold Monkey. Stay tuned for the Christmas Jetson's Spectacular. And this on the heels of the shortest season of Eureka in history. Eureka's a good program. Innovative. Fun. And now the season is so short that I'll lose interest. Breaking my heart, I'm telling you. I see that SciFi is changing it's spelling (on 7-7-09) to "SYFY". If you can't actually PRONOUNCE it, you can use Double-O-7 movies and Professional Wrasslin' as programming with a straight face. Breaking my heart, I'm telling you. The Sam Elliott Mustache Grading Project (EMEU)
I recently fled the general nuttiness of California and moved to America. I'd lived in Bakersfield, which was decidedly better than Santa Rosa, but was found lacking. The whole tribe moved to Youngstown, Ohio, a nice town with a bad reputation. We like it here. We've got nice neighbors and attend a beautiful church. We have an almost private entrance to Mill Creek Park, the most beautiful municipal park on Earth. There's a minor league baseball team here in town--the Mahoning Valley Scrappers, the class "A" affiliate of the Cleveland Indians. I miss being able to drive to Disneyland for a day. I really do. But other than that............
What I Think What do I think? Well, I think that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I think that we should buy American. I think that Mount St. Helens is gonna blow again. I think the curveball in a full count is cowardly. I think the price of bottled water is outrageous. I think the full moon really does bring out the weirdness in people. I think that there's a place in France where the women wear no pants. Correspondence On the odd occasion, a bit of correspondence is received regarding something that appears on these pages. Sometimes good, and sometimes bad. Recently received was an e-mail from a reader who took issue with my bloated pension and inflated benefits. I'd like to respond by stating for the record.......Wait--that beeping sound. Oh, it's the truck backing into the drive, laden with my pension and benefits.....................Gotta run........
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